5 Things I've Learned - LOVE & SEX edition (2014)

Pamela S. Buchanan is a Professor in the Department of Kinesiology and Health Education. She created The Autism Project (TAP) at The University of Texas.

Photo Credit: Silvana Di Ravenna

Cupid pays us a visit next week on Valentine’s Day, and with young love in the air, Longhorn Life decided to quiz UT professors on what they have to say about love.

Pamela S. Buchanan, Lecturer in the Department of Kinesiology and Health Education
At UT for 23 years
1. Love must be earned. We can’t say ‘I deserve this.’ You earn love by representing the best of who you can be and respecting the people who you would like to love you.
2. Love must be maintained. Once you have someone’s love, you have to treat it well. You have to make sure you are attentive to the details of love.
3. Love must exist without tense communication. We talk about not walking on eggshells and not having to weigh our words. Love needs to exist void of the fear of saying the wrong thing.
4. Love must thrive and grow without trepidation. Sometimes we prevent ourselves from accepting full love, because we are already calculating how long it will last or will not last.
5. Love must be celebrated constantly. I don’t believe in annual celebrations.

Dr. Lynn Crismon, Dean at the College of Pharmacy
At UT for 34 years
1. Love has to be selfless.
2. It has to be forgiving.
3. It has to be tolerant.
4. It takes time in one’s life to truly understand what love is.
5. With true love, you are willing to put the one you love before yourself.

Nancy Daley, Adjunct Assistant Professor in the Department of Educational Psychology
At UT for 17 years
1. Love has many forms. English just has a limited vocabulary.
2. Love will take you by surprise.
3. Some people are not capable of love; it’s time we all accept that.
4. Some of the greatest, most difficult acts of love are done in complete anonymity.
5. Love is at least as contagious as hatred. We could be doing a great deal more to spread it around.

Diane McDaniel Rhodes, Lecturer in the School of Social Work
Graduated from UT in 1992 with a BA degree and recently received her Ph.D. from UT
1. I have learned that love doesn’t change anything, except how you feel; it doesn’t change other people.
2. There’s a serious difference between love and being in an infinite relationship.
3. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be with him or her.
4. Contrary to popular myths, love and danger don’t go together.
5. Peoples’ hearts are huge. You will love many, many people that you can share your love with.